Just gotten back my PWA test, flunked like shit. I just cant accept the fact i failed. I really admired those who failed and could stil smile n play. If only i can be so positive. Since sec sch i always wanted to be the best but just nvr once gotten the first or something.

Everybody have something that they have to leave behind, there's no use looking back, so i guess i just have to look straight. Just couldnt forget the fact that i failed my test. Even if i pass the re-test, my marks will only be 50. Sigh. When i was seeking help from others, they told me they dono and stuffs like tht or i didnt study for it, in the end they actually got very high marks. It just show how those friends i know are. Some even shouted out "walau! i got only 79!". WTF!!! Cant stand this kind of ppl. And also watching myself always scoring lower than others, it just demoralise me. I want to be the best so that i can help others as well, i know ppl just wont help me esp classmates or seniors. THat's the reason why i wana top so that i can help ppl like the current me. Here i m already feeling very down le n there, i will be having a test again later. I just hope i can achieve the results i want. I don wish to see my GPA lower than most of my classmates. Since young i'm always the middle or sometimes even worse the last few. Nver once had i been one of the top. Although after failing so many times, i know the feeling of failing and how disappointing one would feel, but still as always, i cant accept the fact. Why i'm always nth compared to other ppl. Sigh...